Monday, 13 July 2009

Bobby's message to the Chinese

(1984) - I was standing in a Chinese takeaway on the Ravenhill Road with my mate Smicker after the two of us had spent the night in the pub having a bit of craic with the old regulars who drunk there. It was a Friday night thing we did regularly and as we stood waiting in the queue in a dingy Chinese takeaway we were pleasantly drunk. My plan was to go home with a sweet 'n sour chicken and fried rice and then off home to watch 'The Satanic Rites of Dracula' for the umpeenth time. It was a thing I liked to do.

As Smicker and I were waiting on our food Smicker’s father, Bobby walked into the shop. This sent us reeling for Bobby was an Ulster man and xenophobe who genuinely hated anyone who was basically not the same as him. Bobby was a good protestant Ulster man and a loyalist through and through. He didn’t like the Chinese presence in Northern Ireland at all or any foreign presence come to think of it, and to see him entering a Chinese takeaway was a groundbreaking moment - although he was completely off-his-face drunk.

We watched as Bobby casually walked into the shop like a silent, mysterious cowboy stranger walking into a saloon in an old western movie. Bobby sauntered to the counter and without saying a word, indicated to the man behind the counter that he wished to borrow his notepad and a pen. The Chinese guy behind the counter smiled and pushed the pen and notepad across the counter. Bobby scribbled something on the paper, set it on the counter and pushed it back towards the man. He then casually turned and walked Clint Eastwood style, out of the shop. The man behind the counter looked stunned and then held up the notepad for everyone in the shop to see.

On the pad was written in big capital letters "FUCK OFF BACK TO CHINA".

Some say it's all in the upbringing…
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